{worthless}

Ever felt like your life was leading to nothing?  That you weren't making a difference in the world?  That you were, almost, worthless?  How do you make your life matter?  I think more people than we realize struggle with this issue.  I also think that for each and every person it's different.  Does your job make you who you are?  Do you friends?  Does your family?  Does money or what car you drive?  Do your children and the way they act?  Is it your faith?  Hope for a better tomorrow?

These can all be definitions of success.  Success, it's crazy thing because it's so undefinable!  For each and every person it's a different path to success and a different ending.  I, as a young military wife, struggle with this often.  It's hard, this life.  To fit in everywhere you go.  My faith life will constantly change, my house will change, my friends will come and go, family will always be far, and a job is never easy to come by.  So, what's my success?  Should I stand in the shadow of my husband's success? (Which, by the way, is ever growing!  Way to go David!)  Try to be the perfect wife?  Master different professions at every place we live?  Raise lots of wonderful children?  I don't know what it is yet.  I'm waiting, impatiently for my time to come.  I want to find a place to fit in, to use my talents and my education.  I'm feeling hopeless, worthless and desperate.  I hope I don't live like this forever.  Until then, as my husband tells me "a job doesn't make you someone.  You aren't worthless.  I love you.".  

It's coming, I still believe that when I'm needed for something greater, I'll be placed there.  Please pray that I have patience in this crazy little thing called life and keep everyone struggling in your prayers.  Whether those struggles be with self worth, self image, abuse, depression, and anything else that makes the heart heavy.  I'll keep you all in my prayers too.  

xoxo

{one year ago...}

One year ago yesterday my husband took a seven month business trip.  It was a rough couple months, but through that time I made the most amazing life long friends and my relationship with David was tested, but came out stronger.  David is on another business trip, to 29 Palms this time, and it brings back some of those feelings being here by myself.  I love and hate that we have to spend nights apart.  I envy those of you who get to be with your spouses everyday and night.

David, here's a little video to you.  I've been having the time of my life with you and I can't wait for the many years and experiences to come!  I love you!

{9-11}

It's been a sad 24 hours for a lot of Americans and hopefully a lot of people around the world.  Yesterday was the anniversary of the tragic attacks on our nation from senseless violent groups.  They devastated our nation but did not break us.  As Americans we are proud of our nation and stronger than ever.  We can never forgot the moment where we were when we heard about the World Trade Centers being hit, when the Pentagon was hit, when the flight went down in the fields of Pennsylvania.   As we rebuild what was torn down on the NYC skyline, we must remember all the victims and their families.  We also remember those Americans killed in those violent attacks on the US Embassy in Libya.  We pray for peace in the souls of their families.

9-11 Memorial

Myself and many, many others remember the events in a very different way.  Every time a member of our military must be sent away from their friends. family and the country they serve to the vast lands of the Middle East, we remember why they are doing what they do.  The War on Terrorism began years ago and our loved ones serve for that very reason.  To make an impact on terrorist groups around the world.  A lot of people are against the war, and, to a degree, we (as military wives and families) are too.  No part of our hearts want our husbands and loved ones to be sent into direct fire from terrorism groups.  I have an undying gratitude for each and every member of the military for their commitment to our nation.  To sacrifice their lives, literally, for my safety.  

I want to reflect on those tragic events by personally thanking the men and women of USMC 11.2 FWD, especially the members that created the GSMT Co..  Also my personal gratitude to those who have served and are currently serving in the fight on terrorism.  ((Thinking of and praying for you Jim!))  

Thank you to all my fellow wives and family members of these awesome Marines, I'll never forget all the kind words and support.  I love all of you in a very special way.  As David would say, "'Rah!  Kill!".

Thank you David.

{hk's 5}

Still thinking about my quest to dress for wife success, I was reading Better Homes and Gardens today I cam across the perfect article, "Heidi Klum's 5 Must-Haves for Fall Fashion"!  What great timing!  So here's what I've learned:

1. A tailored blazer.  It looks great on every woman because it accents our natural waists and it's versatile!  Dress it up or dress it down!  HK guides us to find one that falls just below the hip line, it flatters all body types.  Maybe some like this:

These are all cute and I think the cute and length that HK was talking about, just maybe not the color!

2. A Special Dress.  Something different then the norm.  Maybe with a asymmetrical cut, an exposed zipper or inlays of leather.  

  

I feel good about any of these options, a cut-out on the back of a dress (not too low or too big), LACE (I love lace) or maybe a sheer overlay!  

3. Pencil Skirt.  Classy, poised, crisp, and polished.  Just some of the words used to describe this ever-standard piece of clothing.  I already happen to own a khaki one, but think a black one is a must!

I feel great about the black one, the grey one is also pretty standard and I'm intrigued by the longer striped one....I wonder if I could pull it off?  Also, I tend to choose pencil skirts that hit just above the knee versus ones that hit in the middle of the knee or below the knee.


4. Cozy Sweater.  One that can be dressed up or down, can be worn during the day and transfer to the evening.  (I think we have different ideas of "cozy sweaters".)

This first sweater is more like what HK was modeling in the magazine, but with her sleeves were pushed up to her forearms.  The second two are options that I think I would wear during the day and out at night.  Thank goodness that my old roommates and I had a thing for sweaters and cardigans, I don't need anymore of these!  One down, four to go!


5. Statement Jewelry.  Jewelry can spice up your outfits.  Try mix and matching colors, metals and styles to give you an edgy look.  All your pieces may be different but they should work together as a family.

I'm not big on jewelry.  I wear my wedding rings, a necklace that David gave and a simple leaf ring on my right hand, that's it.  Maybe a small silver bracelet or a watch, but that's it.  I guess I'm going to have to try a big bracelet, a chunky necklace, an outrageous ring, or some crazy earrings.


Maybe this will help all of you too get into your fall wardrobes.  If you have any fashion advice for myself or for anyone else, please feel free to share it.  Shopping to come soon!!


I'll leave you with this stunning photo of my husband and I while painting our house!

~be kind~

{wifey wardrobe}

Well, let the transformation begin!  (Or the growing-up?)  As it turns out, I'm not the only one (or USMC wife) who doesn't think they dress like one!  Kind of weird.  Who decided what a "wife" should look like?  Who said what we have to wear?  To my knowledge there is only one event a year that states a dress code for spouses, the Birthday Ball.  It must be a ball gown (or prom dress...haha).

I've decided there are 3 things that I need to be the "wife" I want to be.  (It's strange that I used the word wife as an outward appearance, or a way to be instead of how I am in my marriage!)  I need to learn how to do my hair, how to do my make-up and how to dress.  I need a few signature hair styles, maybe an up-do, a half up-half down and a down do.  Then for my make-up, a nice day look and maybe a little smokey-eyed night look.  As for the wardrobe goes, well, that's a different story.  I will be attending so many different functions to attend in so many different settings with so many different people., personal dinners, balls, ceremonies, homecomings, promotions, retirements, etc.

So, here's what I have done so far....

My morning began with trying to figure out how to curl my hair.  The first attempt was so bad that I didn't even photograph it.  This is the second version, bad photo, but you get the point.  I did have to use hair spray, which now I know why my old roommate's bathroom floor was ALWAYS sticky...I sprayed my hair on the porch in the rain!

To help with my new "dos" I bought a new curling iron!  This came as a recommendation from a dear USMC wife!  She said it "changed her curling life forever".  Haha, I figured that I needed my curling life to be changed too!

I'll let you know how it goes!

Now on to the clothing portion.  Here are 2 dresses by Express that I got for under $30 combined!  I would just like to say that I'm a bargain hunter and I succeed at it!!

I think that I could I wear these to many different events!  Outside Marine Corps. ceremonies, dinner parties, weddings, date nights, and the list goes on!  I'm excited to wear them!  

I get to go shopping with a wonderful lady and dearest friend in 2 weeks, I'm very excited to hang out with her and get some fashion pointers.  I can't wait to get my act together and not only be the part but look the part too!  If you have any pointers or wardrobe staples, please, please let me know!  I need all the help that I can get!

In parting, here is last night's sunset.

~be kind~

{wife wardrobe}

Man oh man!  I know I've been away for a while, but I'm coming back!  So many things happening in life, so much to talk about!  Most recently (per the usual) my thoughts have focused on David's job.  If y'all don't know, he is now the General's Aide.  Which means that he is married to and is "dating" the general.  Crazy!  He has to follow him around, hover but not hover, open his doors, keep his schedule, know his quirks, be his everything.  Which is good for both people.  The General has (in my opinion) the best aide ever and David will get to see the Corps from the inside and from the top looking down.  This will provide David great knowledge for the future of his Marine Corps career.

Well, anyway, we went to the Change of Command from one Colonel to the next Colonel (about to be promoted to general).  I literally had on 8 different outfits before I could figure our which one I should wear to be mingling with ranks a lot higher then David's!  It looked like a tornado went through our bedroom by the time I was ready to go!

How ludicrous!  Seriously?  An outfit.  I have a MILLION pieces of clothing, yet it took me forever, and I'm not normally one to worry about what I wear.  I've decided that I need to take another serious look at my clothes and get rid of some of them and decide on some staple pieces that I need to buy.  I think that I play the role of military wife well, but dressing the part is a whole new world for me!  I still love jeans and v-neck "boyfriend" T's!  Here are some examples of things I think I need:

Wardrobe is one of the many things that I've got to get in check in my life.  Growing up and being married is a tough job!  So many things that we must learn and get to know.  So stay tuned and soon we will be cleaning out my closet!!  Eek!  Makes me nervous!!

~Do Good and Live Happy~

{taken for granted}

Ugh.  That's how I feel about today.  I'm in my deployment loneliness blues.  David has been on duty, from 0800 this morning until 0800 tomorrow morning.  It's crazy how much I miss him and it's barely been 12 hours!  I always feel that I have so much to tell him, little ridiculous things, but important to me!  I just want to him to walk by and grab my hand for just a second, eat dinner with me, snuggle me on the couch, and fall asleep with.  I'm not sure if I take hi for granted when he's here, or just didn't realize how quickly all these lonely feelings can come rushing back.  

I think it's a good thing that I feel this way.  It means I'm not sick of him yet!  I know he's not far from me, but not being here is being too far away.  I can't wait for tomorrow and the day after and the day after...

xoxo

{rollin' with the punches}

Ah....life at home with my husband.  It is great not to be traveling or having visitors, just to be at home and begin to live our life as normal as possible.

Last week I went on a rural mission trip to Vinton Co., Ohio with my hometown parish.  Everyday we would have lunchtime reflections.  One afternoon's question was "What would you do if God completely changed  your plans?  Could you let go of what you have planned?"  WOW!  What a tough question to ask high school students, but maybe even harder to ask an adult.  As I began to reflect on the question for myself, I realized that I have given it up.  I go with the flow, I don't fight life anymore to make it fit my mold.

My life is not actually mine.  It's a weird realization, that I as a military wife, had to come to.  It's very hard to have concrete dreams and accomplishments when you are bound to move every couple years.  My life, our lives (military wives), are not normally dictated by what we want to do or where we want to go.  We are told where to live and when to move there.  Our lives are driven by the military, or Marine Corps. in my case, and our spouses are living their dreams and goals.  We are so in love with them, that we actually, in a sense, give up everything of our own to stand by the side of the bravest men we know.  So what do I do?  Just sit by idly?  Waiting for something great to happen?  Well, no, because it probably won't!  I can be as proactive as I want, but if what I want isn't in my cards, then it won't happen. All of my happiness will be created by David and I and what we make of our lives.

I have to live happily.  Try to find work and friends and be the best wife I can be.  Good things will come.  I just have to wait and bide my time until it's my turn.  So, my friends, my advice to you is to roll with the punches.  If it's meant to happen it will and if it's not, it won't.

This is a photo from our 'Homecoming' shoot!  SO glad to have him back and be in his arms.  

~Do Good and Live Happy~

{i'm baaaack}

Well folks, it's been too long.  While David was on deployment (and I on my own of sorts) this blog became a way to relieve my feelings and a way for David to know what was going on in my life.  It was part of routine and I feel like you all became part of my life.  So, let's talk about my life.

David is home!  It is good to have him back, but I can't wait til we are done traveling.  We have had visitors and/or have been traveling since 4 days after he got back from Afghanistan!  It's too much!  I was warned by other wives that I would want 'David and Kristin' time.  I knew that that was true, but thought I'd be able to handle all the guests and traveling.  Now, don't get me wrong, all of it was fun, we just never got to have a readjustment period, and really, when you break it all down, it's about us.  I'm sorry for those who are offended, but next time it will be different.  We need how to live with each other again, learn more quirks and needs that we've developed, how to be around each other again.  We won't have this time for 2 months after David returned!  That's insane!

This weekend is our one-year wedding anniversary, but it's really like our 4 month actually-being-together anniversary!  (I love the Corps!)  We're finally getting back to some kind of normal routine!

Taken at the Wedding of Mr. & Mr.s Goff in Ohio!  We LOVE dancing!!

xoxo.

{home sweet home}

Well, I'm sure you've all been wondering...life is GREAT!  My husband is home and life feels better.  I don't even know where to begin with what has happened over the past week, so I've decided to add photos of the past events.


11 AM Easter Morning -- David and his Company return to Camp Lejeune...

A couple days later -- David's parents come to town to see him and we had his platoon over for an afternoon cookout....

That first weekend -- David has to say goodbye to his new family.  The men and women of 1st Platoon.  They have been his best friends and family for the past 7 months, they were his everything.  He learned so much from these Marines and wouldn't change them for anything.  As David would say, "Gone but never forgotten". 

After a few days of having my husband back, my fellow Supp BN wives got their husbands back too!  David and I helped with some homecoming prep at 1 AM then headed back to Camp Lejeune to welcome more Marines home!

Sofia & Brian :: David & Myself :: Joe & Angela :: Teri & Michael :: Corrina & Dan

WELCOME HOME!

{HAPPY EASTER!}

Happy Easter everyone!  I love all of you and hope that you have a beautiful day, whether you celebrate Easter or not!!

I love you David.  

{NC}

Can I just say again that I have made some great friends here in the good 'ol NC and that I kind of like it here?  I just had a great time tonight with even greater friends!  Thanks for everything that you have done and do for me. I can't imagine being here and having better friends.

This guy, yea, he lives on my porch with his 10 brothers and sisters.

Yupp, this is the back of my neighborhood.

I also find this on daily walks.

**David Update**

Life is good for David.  I got a brief e-mail from him this morning, but it sounded like all is well!

David, I beyond ready for you to come home.  So many things to show you, to tell you, to do with you, just so much!  Hurry it up and get you butt back to the States!

I'm here, bored without you, waiting for you to come home.

I love you David.  

{remember}

I can't but want to remember what life is like with David.  I have made my life here, without him.  I have to fit him back in.  I have no fear that David will fit in and we will be fine.  I just want to know what it's like.  What it's like to be held, to be kissed, to be loved, to be taken care of, to be protected.  I need all of that again.  I don't want to be married to myself anyone.  I got married so that I would have a partner, not to live life alone.  My partner is coming back and I can't wait.  It's more like a feeling of relief more than anything.  Relief that I don't have to do this all by myself anymore.  I'm ready for this to be over.

**David Update**

He is still working hard!  I wouldn't expect much less from him!

David, enough said.  We wives miss our husbands and think it's time to come home. 

I'm here, eating Goldfish, waiting for you to come home to me. 

I love you David.

{miss him}

I miss my husband...