{in the dark}

I know that David is my husband, I know that he loves me, I know that he misses me, I know that he can't tell me anything.  I hate that.  I hate feeling like I'm in the dark about my husband's life.  It's so awful.  I can't stand it.  I know that he isn't allowed to tell me things.  I just can't grasp that in my mind.  I want to know what he did at work yesterday, I want to know where he was, I want to hear how everything is going.  I want to know what is going on SO bad.  I probably never will know what is happening and for good reasons.  But I still hate this feeling.  Loneliness and the unknown, what a crappy combination.

On a positive note, I bought new running shoes today.

My friend and I have decided to get into the running game.  These CUTE shoes will make me want to run!  We have a few races coming up over the next few months and these will make it better.  I have to be fit like my husband.  I'm not sure that I will get to his negative percent of body fat, but I can be less fat.  Less fat is my goal. 

**David Update**

I know nothing.  I'm in the dark.  When I have something substantial, I will write about it. 

I don't mean to sound bitter, it's just the truth.  A crappy truth, but how it has to be.  Just a happy photo of David and I from the shores of Quantico, VA.  

David, even though I know nothing, I will still be here, the whole time, 7 months, waiting for you to come home.

I love you David.