{Life with just Me}

Today is a new day.  Still hard, but I think the thought of a whole 7 months is surreal.  It's like when I lived in our house for a month while he was at EMV (Enhanced Mojave Viper -- Pre-deployment training).  It was lonely, but I was constantly preparing for David to be in my life again.  This time my preparing is almost in vain.  Everything has to change back to a life with just me.  A life without my husband.  I have to revert back to my old life.  That's not the reason I got married and moved states, not to go back to what my life used to be.  It is supposed to be new and exciting and life-changing.

I haven't done a ton of crying today.  Last night was a different story.  The first night without David.  I felt like the room was huge and the bed was so cold.  I just wanted to move my feet over and put them on his.  But he wasn't there, nothing was, just an empty bed.  No one to say good night to, no one to floss my teeth with, no one to rub my back, no one to kiss good night.  I wish he was here.  I miss him so much already.  It has been a mere 24 hours and it feel crushing to my spirit.  I just want him to come home after work, but he's not going to.

**David Update**

He left NC around 2300 (11pm) and got to Bangor Maine at 0100 (1am).  He called me.  It was amazing to hear his voice one last time before he left the country.  He sounded better than he had when we parted.  His mentality had shifted from comfy life with me to Marine Officer going to war.  He had a "no turning back now" attitude.  

I love good people.  Maine has good people.  When David and his company got off the plane there was a group of people in the airport waiting to welcome and receive our Marines.  They snapped photos of the Marine unit that was there and the Army unit as well.  Here is a picture of my sweet man that they captured.

Look at his little shaved head.  He feels like such a bada** with that haircut.  Those Maine folk are good people.

From Maine they flew out at 0230 to Germany.  In Germany he was able to pay for the internet and G-chat with me.  It was so nice to know that he was here, but all I wanted to do was look at him and hold his hand.  He was in good spirits and was weirded out by little things that Germans do that Americans don't.  He took off from Germany and is headed to Manas.  I would love to tell you where that is, but I have no idea, because David didn't even know where is it!!  I haven't heard from him since Germany and it is nighttime where he is.  I am waiting for an e-mail.

Let me just take a moment to brag about how good David is to me.  He will do anything from me.  He will make me breakfast, he will kill roaches for me, he drives me anywhere, he will do anything that makes me happy.  He doesn't only spoil me but makes sure that I am taken care of.  He makes me eat vitamins, encourages me to exercise, he pushes me to reach my dreams, he makes me a better person.  People say that the Marine Corps will always take first place to family and spouses.  I heard stories of it and seen it happen to people.  Does it worry me, yes.  But I know my husband, and he is good to me.  He will prove all these sad stories wrong.  He will always take care of me and make sure I am happy.

Waking up this morning without him, not having breakfast with him or sharing and iced coffee with him was hard.  Wearing his clothes and holding his pillow I will hold up on this couch until it is time to go into our bedroom alone again.  I will cry randomly for no particular reason, and break out in a sweat reading the news from Afghanistan.  I will fall asleep crying.  I miss him so much and wish I could be with him every moment.  That, unfortunately, is not our fate.  Loneliness seems to be our fate right now.  I know it will change, but right now I'm sad.  

Honey, I love you and hope that you are safe.

I think about you all the time and I hope that you think of me too.

I'll be here waiting for you.

I love you David.