{Emptiness}

I fill my days with with things to keep me busy.  I play on the internet, I watch too much bad reality TV, go to the grocery every other day, and spend time with my new friend (you have been a life saver, neighbor).  This is all good for my mind.  To keep me focused on things that are not David or my empty home.  But it never fails, to come home at the end of the day and wish I could eat dinner with my husband, to hear how his day was, to eat cookie dough together and drink wine.  Instead I eat cookie dough and hop in his pajamas as fast as I can.  Anything to remind myself of him.  I don't know if I'll wash his PJs for the next seven months.

Even though my days are busy, there is nothing that can fill the emptiness I feel when I get home at night and have to go to bed in our bedroom alone.  It's such a dreadful emptiness.

Some nights are better than others and today is not one of those days.  I got my Masters diploma in the mail today, but had no one to share my excitement with, no one to frame it and put it on the wall with me.  I know David is proud, but it's just not the same without him here.  Tonight I will sit in his pajamas, with a candle lit, drinking hot tea and waiting for him to wake up and get on Skype and say good morning to me.  I live each day for our good mornings and good nights.  They just feel so far apart and he hasn't even been gone a week.

**David Update**

Not much new over the past day.  David went to the gym, ate food and had some training classes.  That's about it.  He is going on a convoy soon, I just won't know when or for how long.  I can't imagine how my mind will handle those days and nights.  

These pictures.  I just can't get enough.  They make me miss him so much more.  I miss your goofy faces, I miss the weird things you say, I miss you trying to be cool, I miss everything about you, I even miss that you are annoying.  I miss you killing roaches for me, I miss you sitting in your chaise, I miss you washing my car while I nap.  I miss you.

Honey, I will be here in your PJs waiting for you, always thinking of you.

I hope you are warm and safe.  I'll always be here for you.

I love you David.