{another deployment}

It was another emotional day as my neighbor, Jon, left today for a 6 month tour in Africa.  He leaves behind 3 children and my NC best friend, Tina.  First I want to tell you how my of a difference in my life that Tina has had.  The morning that David was leaving, Tina saw those dreaded green bags being loaded in the back of our car, she went up to David and began to talk to him and reassured him that she would take care of me.  David then gave Tina "the tightest" hug.  She knew what it would be like as she and her husband have been through deployments before.  Tina brought me cookies that night and just offered a hug.  She has text me late at night when I needed it, hugged me when I needed it and has let me fall to weep in her arms.  I can't even explain the gratitude that I will forever have for her.

Now, it's my turn.  I get to be that person.  I will continue to her friend and now a surrogate spouse.  I will help with dinners, kids, driving kids to activities, be the emergency contact, and anything else she will need.  My heart pours out to her tonight.  The first night without your husband.  Here is a little writing from my first night without David:


"As the buses arrived, I started to cry, not a loud cry, not a sobbing cry, it was weird.  It was a calm cry, the one where you know you can't control anything and you are loosing everything.  Just steady tears streaming down my face as I silently prayed hard for my husband. 

I know he is nervous, I know he is scared, I know he is sad.  But there is nothing I can do to calm him.  I can't hold him, I can't tell him jokes, I can't even be by his side.  As he got on the bus, I couldn't even bare to stand, I slunk to the ground grabbed my camera and put my hands over my mouth. 

Sobbing. 

Emptiness.  

The feeling of a void that can't be filled.  

I love him with all my heart, body and soul.  I wish we could be next to each other everyday.  He is living out his dream and I would never stand in the way, but I miss my husband."

I even begin to cry as I re-read those feelings.  Please prayer for my friends, Jon and Tina and their children.  Pray for strength and patience over the next 6 months.  

**David Update**

No update better than yesterday.  He is up and at the gym already.

David, I'm ready for you to be home.  

I'm here, without cookies, waiting for you to come home.

I love you David.