{workin' mama}

To work or not to work, that is the question.

Seriously....I have a mental conflict happening.  I have always seen myself as a working woman; I feel that I was put on this earth to help people.  My jobs and professional goals have always been to get to an end result that I am helping the greater good of humanity.  Prior to giving birth, I worked at a 911 center.  I REALLY loved my job, circumstances and pregnancy came to a head and I ended up putting in my resignation.  (NOT something I was happy about...)  I am now in the position to go back to that 911 center and continue to doing good.  This is where the conflict comes in; do I continue my path as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) or do I become a working mom?

Internal dialogue to continue as a SAHM ::
   - I LOVE my son, he is the cutest little human I've ever seen.
   - I worked REALLY hard to create him and might as well continue to help develop his little brain.
   - David is able to provide enough where I don't have to go back to work for the money.
   - I don't want to miss out on his 'firsts'....of anything!
   - I enjoy my son and his is a happy little camper 98% of the time.
   - I know what he is doing at all time.
   - I know that I provide his safety and don't have to worry about others handling him.
   - He is my very best little friend.
   - I can also hang out with my dog, Goose, all day!
   - I exercise more at home since I have time.
   - I can watch morning talk shows and drink my coffee as long as I want to.

Internal dialogue about being a working' mama ::
   - I am helping people.
   - I am using the professional side of my brain.
   - I have adult interaction!
   - I feel like I can make my workplace a better workplace.
   - I am putting my 2 degrees, 6 years of college and thousands in student loans to good use!
   - I am GOOD at what I do...that profession isn't for everyone and I feel like I'm one of the few.
   - I do like the extra money, even though I have to pay for childcare.
   - My child will get the social interaction of childcare.

I could really go on and on about both aspects!  It really is one of the hardest decisions I have made yet in life.  I could fight that one is better than the other, but at the end of the day, I must choose.

I have decided to go back to work on a part time basis for the moment.  I will try it out and see how it goes!  I can see myself as a very successful business woman one day, making a difference in the world AND I can also see myself as a SAHM, raising babies to be good humans.  It's a tough choice and I guess I will learn.  But, hey, it's better to try and hate it than to have never tried at all....right?



"Hope that when you jump, You don't fear the fall."  -OneRepublic

{back at it}

Well, hello!?  I'm back!  Actually, it's me and some new additions to my family!

So, I know that I have not been blogging for a while, but I am in position in my life to begin again!  As a stay-at-home mom, I have a lot of time to think and very little adult interaction, which means I have no one to share all of my thoughts with!  Even though blogging doesn't normal create feedback or responses to my thoughts, at least it's an outlet for my crazy brain!

I have A LOT to say (per the usual) because A LOT has happened in my life since the last time we spoke.  I, now, own a house, have the most beautiful rescue dog AND a child!  My husband is stateside (still a US Marine) and as good looking as ever.  :)  Future topics not only include my daily thoughts and honest feelings, but such things as getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth (whew!), being a new mom, work vs. motherhood, my midwife, breastfeeding, unhappy people, weight, non-tangible goals, and the name change of my blog.  Sorry fellas, this blog will be geared towards my fellow ladies; but, feel free to read and gain a little insight into a women's mind!

So....why the name change in the blog?  It used to be called "Pure Honey" and I still believe that was an accurate reflection of my life during that chapter.  This blog began as a waterfall of thoughts from when my husband deployed and how I dealt with life daily.  He is my 'honey' and all my words were true emotions in written form.  It was, and still will be, based on my life and how I view the world.  "The BeeHive" now refers to my family as a whole!  We have grown from 2 to 4 members and that changes a whole lot of a lot.

Stay tuned for entertaining reading and an in-depth glimpse into my world.




"Don't count the days, make the days count."  -Muhammad Ali